Monday, June 4, 2007

My selfishness

I am a horribly selfish person with generous action that contradicts. It might be hard to understand, but this is the way I interpret things.

Let's say I am in a team of a total of five member, I am a weapon of other members as others four are weapons of mine. In this rather tough world, I have a better chance of survival with most weapons I can have. For this I keep weapons safe and secure.

My act of generosity or care towards people on my side is better describe as weapon maintenance or upgrade, I only do things that I can also benefit from, could be in a different aspect, but still no free lunch, same reason to the above paragraph. Its lonely to me without others to share my feeling, simply selfish as that.

As a lazy person, I prefer full weapon potential, when I am not good, I can be protected by the better, also giving myself a goal set for self improvement.
To me money is just a printed document, but all my desires cost money, a lot of money, that gives me the eagerness to earn money. Not that I'm interest in money itself, but the fulfillment of my desires that it brought.

For that, money is almost the only weighting factor when I work. Again real life teach me another thing. I gesture them with what I read, no one ever noticed (but do notice my prank jibberish typing and able to repeat it but nothing in my browsing history? fine......) Diginity and Arrogance are different by how well being known.

Believing only in alternate ways of observation, while ignoring the option to just simply ask, and invalidating the answer written or spoken, how much confidence are there over other less dependable form, i.e. online, email?

Question itself is the answer already, the only hard part is acceptance, proved anywhere throughout human history.

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